In the future we'll all be gay
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
