I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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