where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
