i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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