one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
