WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
