You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
