areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
