Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
