Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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