All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
