Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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