It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
