I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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