I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
