I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
