belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
