Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
