I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
