$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
