I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
