Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
