it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
