i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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