you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
