I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
is it fun? or sober?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
