i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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