think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
