Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
