We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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