my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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