I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
