Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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