no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
