I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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