Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
