After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
