wrigley field is MILF paradise
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
