i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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