i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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