I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The air taste purple.
Randomize
