This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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