Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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