i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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