Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
