i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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