You're a womanizer and a bitch.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
