there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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