Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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