i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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