Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fuck appropriateness.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
