But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
