Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
